What to Do Before Your Child Gets Their First Phone

Start with the practical setup, not the rules

Before your child opens the box, you need three things in place: a phone plan that fits your budget, parental controls that actually work on your child's device, and a clear conversation about what happens if the phone gets lost or broken. Most parents focus on screen time rules first, but the financial and technical setup matters more — a lost phone or an unexpected bill can derail everything else you're trying to do.

The order matters. Set up the device itself, test the parental controls while you're both there, then talk about expectations. This way your child sees the phone as a tool you're helping them use safely, not a device you're spying on.

Key Takeaways

• Choose a phone plan before buying the phone — prepaid plans and family plans have different costs and limits, and some let you set spending caps.
• Install parental controls on the specific device your child will use, not just on your own phone, and test them together so there are no surprises.
• Decide what happens if the phone breaks or gets lost — whether your child pays part of the replacement, what insurance costs, and whether you'll buy used or new.
• Have one conversation about basic safety (not giving out personal information, not talking to strangers) before the phone arrives, then revisit rules as your child gets older.
• Keep your own phone secure with a strong password so your child cannot access your accounts or payment methods.

Choosing a phone plan that won't surprise you

A phone plan is separate from the phone itself. You can buy a phone outright and then add it to a plan, or you can get both from the same company. The plan determines what your child can do and what it costs you each month.

Prepaid plans let you pay upfront for a set amount of data and calls each month — usually $15 to $40 depending on how much data your child needs. You control the total spend because the phone stops working when the balance runs out. Prepaid plans work well if your child is new to phones and you want a hard spending limit. Carriers like Mint Mobile, Visible, and Boost Mobile offer prepaid options, as do the major carriers (Verizon, AT&T, T-Mobile) under their own prepaid brands.

Family plans add your child's line to your existing plan. This costs less per line than a separate plan — usually $15 to $25 per month per child — but you share a data pool and the bill comes to you. Family plans work well if you already have a plan and want to keep billing simple. Most major carriers offer family plans, and many let you set a spending cap so your child cannot accidentally run up charges.

Before you sign up, ask the carrier whether they offer spending limits or data caps for individual lines. Some let you turn off data entirely, or set a monthly spending cap that stops the phone from making purchases. This is different from parental controls — it's a billing feature that prevents overage charges.

Setting up parental controls on your child's device

Parental controls are built into every major phone operating system. They let you restrict which apps your child can download, set screen time limits, and see location. The controls work differently on iPhone and Android, so you need to set them up on the actual device your child will use.

On iPhone, parental controls are called Screen Time. Go to Settings > Screen Time, tap "Turn On Screen Time," and choose "This is My Child's iPhone." You'll create a Screen Time passcode (different from the phone's unlock code) and then set app limits, downtime hours, and content restrictions. You can see your child's location through Find My iPhone if you both sign in to the same iCloud family group. Screen Time syncs across all Apple devices your child uses, so limits apply to iPad and Mac as well.

On Android, parental controls are called Family Link. Download the Family Link app on both your phone and your child's phone. Sign in with your Google account on your phone, then add your child's device. You can set app restrictions, screen time limits, and see location. Android's controls are less restrictive than iPhone's — your child can still see restricted apps in the Play Store, and some controls can be worked around — but they cover the basics.

Set up controls while you're both present and test them together. Show your child what happens when they hit a screen time limit, or try to download an app you've restricted. This prevents confusion and shows your child you're not hiding anything.

Deciding what to do if the phone breaks or gets lost

A new phone costs $200 to $1,200 depending on the model. A used phone costs $100 to $400. Before your child gets the phone, decide whether you'll replace it if it breaks, and if so, whether your child pays part of the cost.

Some parents buy insurance through the carrier — usually $10 to $15 per month — which covers accidental damage and theft with a deductible of $50 to $200. This spreads the cost over time but adds up if you never use it. Other parents buy a used phone as a first phone, so the financial hit of losing it is smaller. Still others tell their child they get one replacement, and after that they're responsible for the cost.

Whatever you decide, tell your child the rule before the phone arrives. If your child knows a lost phone means they go without one for a month, they're more likely to keep track of it. If they know you'll replace it immediately, they have less reason to be careful.

Also decide whether your child can use the phone to make purchases — through the app store, in-game purchases, or online shopping. If yes, set a spending cap through your carrier or your payment method. If no, remove your payment method from the phone entirely and tell your child to ask you before downloading anything.

Having the safety conversation before the phone arrives

Your child has probably heard some safety rules already — don't talk to strangers, don't share your password, don't post your address online. A phone doesn't change these rules, but it makes them more relevant because your child can now contact people and be contacted by them.

Have one conversation before the phone arrives. Keep it short and specific: explain that some people online pretend to be kids to trick other kids into sharing personal information or photos, that your child should tell you if someone asks them to keep a conversation secret, and that you're not angry if they make a mistake — you just want to know so you can help.

You don't need to cover every possible danger. You'll revisit these conversations as your child gets older and uses the phone differently. A 10-year-old with a phone for texting family needs different information than a 14-year-old with social media.

Keeping your own phone secure

Your child will eventually ask to use your phone, or will grab it when you're not looking. If your phone is unlocked or uses a simple password, your child can access your email, your payment methods, and your accounts. This matters because your child might accidentally make a purchase, or might share something they shouldn't.

Use a strong password or biometric lock (fingerprint or face recognition) on your phone. Don't use a birthday or a simple number sequence. If your child knows your password, change it. You can also remove your payment methods from your phone's app store and require a password for purchases — this takes an extra step but prevents accidental spending.

What to do in the first week

The first week is when most problems show up. Your child might download apps you didn't expect, or might spend hours on the phone when you thought they'd use it for texting. This is normal, not a sign you made a mistake.

Check in after a few days. Ask what apps your child is using, whether the screen time limits feel fair, and whether anything confused them. Adjust the controls if needed — if the limit is too strict, your child will resent it; if it's too loose, it won't help. You're not looking for perfection; you're looking for a setup that works for your family.

If your child finds a way around the controls, don't panic. This is how you learn what works and what doesn't. Tighten the controls, have a conversation about why the rules exist, and move forward. The goal is not to make the phone impossible to misuse — it's to help your child develop habits that keep them safe.

Frequently Asked Questions

Should I buy a new phone or a used one for my child's first phone?

A used phone is fine for a first phone and costs less if it gets lost or broken. Check that the battery health is at least 80 percent (on iPhone, Settings > Battery > Battery Health), that the screen has no cracks, and that it's not locked to another account. A used phone from a carrier's certified refurbished program or from a trusted seller is safer than a random marketplace listing.

Can my child use the phone without a data plan?

Yes, if you have Wi-Fi at home and your child only needs to text and call. A phone on Wi-Fi can use messaging apps like iMessage or WhatsApp without a data plan. But most kids will want data for school, for looking things up, or for using apps away from home. A small data plan costs $10 to $20 per month.

What if my child refuses to follow the rules?

Start by understanding why. Is the screen time limit too strict? Does your child feel you're invading their privacy? Is there a specific app they really want? You might need to adjust the rules, or you might need to have a conversation about why the rules exist. If your child is deliberately breaking rules, removing the phone for a set period is more effective than arguing about it.

How do I know if my child is ready for a phone?

Readiness is less about age and more about whether your child can follow instructions, remember to charge the device, and tell you if something goes wrong. If your child loses things often or doesn't listen when you explain rules, a phone will be frustrating for both of you. You can always wait a few months and try again.

Do I need to tell my child I'm tracking their location?

Yes. Location tracking works best when your child knows about it and understands why — so you can find them if they're lost, or so you know they got to school safely. If you track secretly, your child will feel betrayed when they find out, and they'll work harder to hide things from you. Be honest about what you can see and why you're looking.